If I Had A Scanner.....

Midi courtesty of http://www.brownielocks.com/

With apologies to Peter, Paul, and Mary

If I had a scanner,
I’d scan her in the morning,
I’d scan her in the evening,
As long as I can.

I’d check her for tumors,
I’d check her for infection,
I’d scan her for the cash I’d get
From Medicare and Aetna
As long as I can.

If I had a PET/CT,
I’d scan her in the morning,
I’d scan her in the evening,
As long as I can.

I’d check her for tumors,
I’d check her for infection,
I’d scan her for the cash I’d get
From Medicare and Aetna
As long as I can.

If I had an MRI,
I’d scan her in the morning,
I’d scan her in the evening,
As long as I can.

I’d check her for tumors,
I’d check her for infection,
I’d scan her for the cash I’d get
From Medicare and Aetna,
As long as I can.

I don’t have a scanner,
I don’t have a PET/CT,
I don’t have an MRI, so much for my plan.

Cause the hammer of CMS
Rang the bell of warning,
And they cut off the cash I’d get
From Medicare and Aetna.
It’s all over, man.

Cause the hammer of CMS
Rang the bell of warning,
And they cut off the cash I’d get
From Medicare and Aetna.
It’s all over, man.